It was a tough gig for Boris Johnson in his weekend media round, as he sought to persuade an anxious public that he was both as “fit as a butcher’s dog” and a hands-on father to a new baby. He might have fared better if he were more evolved as a man; as it is, he plainly equates parenting with femininity and strength with masculinity. And so, dancing between these polar opposites, it came to pass that he did an atrocious job of describing both. His involvement with his baby sounded just plain weird (“I’m both present and involved in a detailed way,” he declared, like someone who’s just been busted sleeping on a conference call). His athleticism was displayed mainly in the accompanying photographs, and that was his undoing.
Men – no offence – are obsessed with press-ups as an indicator of virility; it’s weird because so many things are harder (planks, pull-ups), but I believe it originated with Charles Bronson’s prison workouts, so that’s fine. It’s absolutely fine for a prime minister to be wooing national opinion by aping the self-fashioning of Britain’s most notorious armed robber. Nothing weird about 2020 whatsoever. It’s not the best example of the home exercise genre: for starters, he appears to be doing it in full office wear, complete with a tie. Nobody wants to be an athleisure nazi, but there is a foundational purpose to fitness wear, viz, it is breathable and moves with your body. He has a slight cat’s back posture, which if he were to attempt a real push-up in it, would lead to a lower-back injury pretty soon. And – making allowances for the completely inappropriate clothing, which makes his body rather illegible – his stance overall looks sloppy and shambolic, a hairs’ breadth from collapsing in a heap. Look at the way his head disappears, exhausted, begging for the sweet relief of gravity.
Many were discomfited by the image being so reminiscent of Putin, famously photographed on a horse, or with a leopard cub, or in an icy spring. The parallel should, above all, make us grateful that Johnson isn’t bare chested, which would be a truly chilling authoritarian display. Nevertheless, to see a prime minister wage a charm offensive using his biceps would be unfamiliar and chilling, even if he were using them correctly.