Less than a week to go. For which everyone – most politicians included – will be breathing a huge sigh of relief. Rishi Sunak must be wondering why on earth he chose to go for a six-week campaign when he had so little to say and such a poor record to defend. It’s as if he’s already given up and is just going through the motions. Nor have Labour appeared that energised by being clear favourites to win a large majority next Thursday. Their main aim has been to do as little as possible. To not rock the boat and to let the Tory party self-destruct. To be fair, it looks to have been a successful strategy so far but it has made the last few weeks feel particularly joyless. Keir Starmer, knowing he will inherit a mess, is so desperate not to raise expectations too high that his pitch has often sounded like: “Vote for me. Things will be a bit less rubbish.” Even Ed Davey seems to have been affected by the torpor. His election theme-park stunts increasingly look as if he is going through the motions. The one person who is unequivocally enjoying himself is Nigel Farage. He has been speaking to 1,000-strong rallies in Newton Abbot and Houghton-le-Spring and one poll suggests Reform could win 18 seats. How much Nige will like being the leader of a small party in the House of Commons, where his voice won’t count for much, is another matter. It might rather curtail his well-paid media engagements in the UK and the US. Unless, of course, he seldom bothers to show up. Campaigning moment of the week Not just the moment of the week but a clear winner as the highlight of the whole campaign. The Labour candidate was out canvassing in his Hull East constituency and knocked on a door. A man answered. Turner asked if he would be voting Labour. No, said the bloke. Could I ask why not? Karl asked. Sure. Because you’re going to be taxing condoms. I couldn’t vote for any party that taxes condoms. Clearly a man who gets through a fair number each week. Turner looked confused. As far as he could remember that wasn’t something Keir Starmer had promised. Though he had only promised to rule out no increases to income tax, national insurance and VAT. Eventually Turner’s aide, who was out with him, put two and two together. Perhaps he was getting confused with non-doms. Oh, said the man. You mean like the prime minister’s wife? Precisely. One Labour voter safely back in the fold. Bet of the week A more politically adept party leader would have tried to nip this one in the bud right away by suspending the two Tory candidates under investigation for betting with insider knowledge. Instead Sunak allowed the story to rumble on before taking action two weeks later. By which time it was far too late. There are times when Rish! only makes sense if you assume that he is actively trying to lose the election. On Thursday he was asked several times by the Sky News reporter Sam Coates if he had told Craig Williams the date of the election in advance. A fairly straightforward question you would have thought. One that could be answered with a yes or no. Instead, Sunak hummed and hahed. It wouldn’t be right to comment, he said. Ongoing investigation and all that. Complete nonsense. Talk about trying to make yourself look guilty. But the gambling scandal has now moved on from insider dealing to perfectly legal – if actively half-witted – bets. Keir Starmer removed the whip from one Labour candidate who put a small bet on himself to lose. Not to be outdone, the Tory candidate Philip Davies is reported to have also placed an £8,000 bet on himself to lose. Go big, Phil. Go big.
TV debate moment of the week An easy one. It was the moment the presenter Mishal Husain announced we were out of time and that the BBC head-to-head between Sunak and Starmer had come to an end. At which a grateful nation could finally relax and get back to watching the Euros. We had any number of variations on the debates. Head-to-heads with the two main parties. Seven-way debates. A succession of one-to-one interviews followed by audience questions. We even had one debate with Chris Philp. Never again. And in all of these debates we never really learned that much of any substance. Just who was the glossiest performer. Sunak was tetchy, liked to shout over people and patronised the audience. Starmer was a bit wooden and slow to respond. But nothing that was going to really shift the dial. Everyone had far too much media training to allow that to happen. The broadcasters loved them as they were the main beneficiaries. Made them feel important. But for most of the country they were a turn-off. Sound and fury, signifying nothing. This week’s last BBC debate was no exception. Just Sunak and Starmer shouting at one another while not saying very much. Though Keir got the best line in. “If you bothered to listen to the people,” he told Sunak, “then you wouldn’t be so out of touch.” Boom. The Mel Stride award This is the gong that goes to the Tory minister who volunteers to go over the top and into the incoming fire of the morning media round to explain why everything is all going so terribly well. And the winner, yet again, is … Mel Stride. Once more the work and pensions secretary found himself the only cabinet minister regularly willing to take one for the team. One can only assume Sunak has promised him a peerage in his resignation honours list. If so he will have thoroughly deserved it. No man has suffered more humiliation. But the question remains. Where are all the other cabinet ministers? James Cleverly and Victoria Atkins have put their heads above the parapet precisely twice. Which probably puts them in line for a knighthood and damehood respectively. But Jeremy Hunt? He’s still nowhere to be seen. I can’t remember a previous election campaign where the serving chancellor has made precisely no media appearances at all. Almost as if he’s embarrassed by his record. Lord Big Dave has had an agenda all of his own. Only to come out at moments, such as D-day, when he can make Sunak look bad. Think about it. The worse his successors in No 10 appear to be, the more forgiving the country might be towards him. I’ve got news for you, Dave. We aren’t forgetting austerity and Brexit. Meanwhile, others such as Steve Barclay and Lucy Frazer might as well not exist. For the Sun debate on Monday, the Tories sent out Chris Heaton-Harris to spin for them. And he’s not even standing as a candidate. “Hello, beautiful people,” said Chris as he walked in. This is a man who has already checked out. Racist row of the week A no-brainer. Nigel Farage likes to portray himself as a changed character these days. A man much maligned. His previous comments apparently in support of Vladimir Putin have been misunderstood. His dislike of foreigners – only on Thursday he was again blaming migrants for blocking all the roads in the south-east – is really all about wanting a better life for them. As long as it is elsewhere. Nige insists that Nige is now a thoroughly wholesome character. So it must be a constant surprise to him that several Reform candidates have had to be disowned for racist remarks and this week an undercover Channel 4 investigation found that one of those out canvassing for Farage in Clacton had made openly racist and Islamophobic comments. Scam of the week You might recall that when Rishi Sunak became prime minister, his first speech was a promise to govern with integrity, professionalism and accountability. That went well. He was at it again during the BBC debate on Wednesday. Asked why anyone should believe a word he said, Rish! insisted he could be trusted because he had always told the truth. He had even warned the country about Liz Truss, even though he had gone on to give her his full backing. So what should happen within minutes of the debate ending. The Tory press office pretended to be an independent personal finance organisation, Tax Check UK, on X and sent out numerous tweets giving alarmist figures about fictitious Labour policies. They were quickly rumbled and soon their tweets came with a health warning. But that hasn’t stopped them. This Friday morning I have had two emails purportedly from Tax Check UK talking of Labour tax rises. So much for integrity, accountability and professionalism. When your back is to the wall, anything goes.
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